Seems that i have nearly no women in my life at the moment, and it sucks :(. Sure i have female friends but i rarely see them or talk to them these days, and even a recent one that i thought i could remain close friends with seems to have died off recently, almost like she has lost interest in me all together. This seems to be a regular occurance, i've noticed previously that a woman will talk to me a lot because they are interested in me (not that i've known this for certain), and once they either lose interest, or realise i don't share the same feeling, then i won't hear much from them after that.
Following from this I really don't even have a "potential" person, which usually i have, even if its never actually gonna happen. I think i'm just way too anti-social, and really can't see myself being able to change, especially with uni being such a huge workload this semester, probably the most workload in one semester i've ever had.

With all this i've been going alright, haven't really been depressed at all this semester, but i think i've gone through a change, it's like i've become used to being antisocial now, whereas before it was troubling me somewhat. This is not a good thing i feel, like i'm laying down and accepting that i'm antisocial, which certainly is not the correct frame of mind to be in to change.

Uni is only going to get busier from here on in, and i'm hoping after semesters end a lot of those great college friends and I can find some time to properly catch up and enjoy each others company like we would have last year. Because who knows what i'll be doing, or where i will be after this year, since i'm meant to be graduating, kinda scary :S

no need to slip back into negativity, just have to be happy with who i am (sure wanting to improve can be a good thing, but i need to be less harsh on myself than i have been in the past).
I mean sure, i could wish i was better at certain things, or had done stuff differently than i did, but whats the point really.
I think i've discovered something really important, ME time. Finding some time now and then to do something i really enjoy and that relaxes me. Recently i've been going down to the basketball courts near the UQ pool in the affternoon for maybe an hour or so. Its so simple, its just me and the ball and the hoop. Thats it. No need to think about anything else, its just properly relaxing, something i certainly haven't had enough of this year. Its just really important to have a little bit of a getaway place like that, otherwise you can just get weighed down constantly by uni work, work work, personnel things etc etc, and that is certainly something i didn't have last semester, which probably added to the reason i was almost always struggling.
One nagging thing though is i think i find it really hard to open myself up to people, and to communicate that with them, which is perhaps why i'm not really close to many people at all. Also i'm not the most talkative person anymore (if i ever was).
Anyway sif, i just have to be a little happier with who i am and just have a bit of confidence in myself.
Cos as someone said to me, you fail at 100% of the things you don't try!